On Marriage Prep

It's hard to believe how fast time passes. In eight months, I'll be getting married, and instead of focusing solely on wedding preparations, I find myself mentally preparing for the marriage itself. A wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event, and I want it to be beautiful—who wouldn't? But I truly believe that marriage is about so much more than just the wedding day.

Since I was young, I never considered getting married early. I’ve always understood that raising a family is no easy feat. It takes more than just financial stability; both parents need to be mentally prepared for the responsibility. From an early age, I realized that being parents means guiding our children, not just scolding them when they make mistakes. I understand that parenthood comes with the full responsibility of children's mental and physical well-being. I want to provide the best possible environment for raising my children, and to do that, I need to be mature enough to guide them. I don't want my children to suffer because of my immaturity or ego.

As we age, we learn more about ourselves, and that applies to me too. I’ve always felt comfortable in the kitchen and have a passion for organizing. Preparing for marriage also means I need to be able to cook for my family, not out of a sense of Asian tradition, but because I understand that the food they eat will shape their health in the future. I can already tell that I will be very strict when it comes to the food that my family consumes. To my future husband and kids, I am sorry for limiting junk food and sugary foods to your daily diet. 

A few of my friends have mentioned that I have the qualities of a good wife, and I truly hope that's the case. With that being said, I’m also aware of my own shortcomings. There are times when I am so hard on myself and it ends up affecting my partner. I’m not great at social skills (can't blame my introverted self) and I know I need to improve my financial management. While I’m not an excessive spender, I still haven't quite figured out how to manage my money effectively. 

For those of you who are getting married this or next year, I hope you make the most out of this precious moment. Learn about yourself and what to improve so you can be a better person, not only for your partner but also for your future children. 

A letter from daddy's little girl

My dad turned one year older a couple days ago.

Growing up, I wouldn't say that I was emotionally close to my dad. He is a very hardworking person and he went out of town every month to follow up on his projects. Our dinner table usually consisted of my siblings, my mom and my grandmother. Thus, whenever dad came back from his one-week work trip, we always gave him a huge hug while reaching into his pocket searching for some free airline's candies. 

I love my dad in a way that is so much different from my mom. I always sit beside him on a dinner table and slept beside him every night when I was a kid cause that's what safety and comfort feel like. I always made sure I spooned out all the carrots from my soup and gave it to him cause I know how much he loves carrots. Whenever we kids did a mistake, he never once yelled at us or laid a hand on us. 

My mom always told us kids to always love our dads because he had sacrificed a lot of his time to work for our family. Thanks to him, we are able to enjoy the fruits of his hard work. Thanks to him, I get a lot of privileges that my school mates don't. Thanks to him, I received education from a first world country and experienced a life that he never gets in this life. 

When I was in college, I called my dad once a month. It was a short call cause he always had something to do and I never really confided in him cause I didn't want to add to his burden. When covid finally hit, I spent a lot of time at home with my dad. He taught me a lot of about work and life lessons. That was also when I grew closer to my dad, observing his habits and personality. Now, there is no day goes by that I didn't talk to him. I should really thank covid for my relationship with my dad.

I am counting months till I finally left my house for good. To dad, I could only wish for a healthier and happier life. I hope that even if I have my own family in the future, I will never forget what it feels like to be a daddy's little girl. 

I met my younger self today

I met my younger self in a cafe today

She ordered pain au chocolat and iced latte. I ordered iced matcha coconut.

She was 30 minutes late. I was 10 minutes late.

She brought her boxing gloves with her. I was wearing a pair of cute pilates socks.

She told me life in the US was fun but she thought about going back to Indonesia all the time. I told her I live in Indonesia now and found my home. 

She was innocent and pure. I told her life isn't always filled with good people. She'll be betrayed by people she trusted the most but she'll learn from those mistakes.

She was devastated about finding love cause she lost herself while falling in love for the very first time. I told her one day she'll find herself again and find someone who will accept her for who she is.

She said she wasn't too close to our parents. She called them once a week. I told her I feel closer than ever to our parents now. I call them several times a day every single day. She was shocked when I told her I still live with our parents and I only have a few months left until I move out from their house.

She said she wanted to move to Jakarta to find new friends and a boyfriend. I told her our future partner is someone from our hometown. She couldn't believe when I said that cause that's the last thing she ever wanted, to date someone from her childhood home.

She said she wanted to enjoy her 20s exploring life and marry when she's ready. I told her I keep those words until now and that's the best decision ever. I am getting married this year when I turn 28.

She asked me what's the best advice for her. I said "At the end of the day, you don't only have yourself. You have your family, close friends and fiancé who love you so much. You can always depend on them for anything. You don't always have to be strong. Sometimes it's okay to not be okay."