Before the Vows: The Emotions No One Talks About

People often say that creativity flows best at night, when everything is still and quiet. But for me, it’s the daytime chaos that sparks the urge to write. Somehow, amidst the noise and commotion of the city, writing feels like my only true escape.

If you’ve been following me on social media, you probably know that I recently did a prewedding photoshoot in Bali, as well as a studio shoot indoors. Leading up to it, there was so much excitement—choosing the dress, imagining the concept, picturing how everything would come together. But once the shoot was over, I found myself with nothing left to anticipate except the wedding day itself. They say time speeds up after the prewedding shoot—and it's true. It goes by so quickly, you suddenly wish you had more moments to slow down and cherish time with your family.

Don’t get me wrong—I truly love my fiancé and his family, and I know they love me too. But the kind of love and warmth I’ve grown up with in my own home is simply different. I’ve witnessed my parents build their relationship over the years—their arguments, their reconciliations, and everything in between. And despite it all, we continue to choose one another, because that’s what family does. We love, we stay, and we grow—together.

And now, with just five months left until the wedding, I find myself wishing time would slow down. I won’t lie—I miss those simpler college days, when the toughest decisions were just about which club to join or which group of friends to hang out with. But life doesn’t pause just because we’re not quite ready to move on. Ready or not, the next chapter is coming—marriage, and eventually, creating a life separate from the family I grew up with.

To all the girls out there preparing for marriage—I see you. I know how hard it is to carry this quiet sadness while trying to keep a brave face in front of your family. I’ve been there too. There are moments when the sadness creeps in, but I try to shake it off—by watching movies, keeping busy, or throwing myself into a workout. We all have our own ways of coping

If you’re feeling the same way—caught between excitement and quiet sorrow—please know that you’re not alone. This season of transition is beautiful, but it’s also emotional in ways no one really prepares you for. It’s okay to feel everything all at once: joy, fear, gratitude, and even grief. Embrace it. Let yourself grow through it. And when the day comes, you’ll walk into your new chapter with a full heart.