If I ever turn 70

I am currently sitting on my computer desk contemplating about life. Looking ten years back, a lot of memories have been created. If you ask me, yes, I love creating memories and keeping them physically with me. Not that I am a hoarder, but I am well aware that the memory card in my brain is indeed very limited, or maybe I have a smaller hippocampus. I forget things easily even at a very young age. I used to write a lot of journals so that one day when I forget what happened to myself, I can turn back to those pages and reminisce about my old memories. 

I have been collecting everything since I was young : books, photographs, invitations, polaroid films, birthday letters, graduation letters, love letters, journals, you name it. Every single one is like a piece of puzzle to my life. Losing them is like losing a piece of my life puzzles, you can figure out the shape but it will never be complete again. 

I hope one day when I become a grandmother, I would still be keeping my old treasures with me. One of my biggest fear is living with dementia. It is sad how your memories will fade away one by one, forgetting what was once the happiest day of your life, forgetting how much you love someone and eventually forgetting who you are. 

When I turn 70, I hope I will be making handmade pasta and tomato salads for my grandkids. After the scrumptious meal, I would sit on the barcalounger by the living room and I would be happy to flip all those journals and photo albums of my 20s and 30s, sharing my life stories to my grandkids. I want them to know that their life will never be perfect and that's okay. Some days will be black and white while some days are colorful rainbow, but that's what makes life worth living.